BROADCASTERS and washed up politicians Willie Jackson and John Tamihere are rumoured to be Auckland mayor John Bank's "new best friends".
The desperate pair, hungry for more attention, have reportedly teamed up with right wing wonder boy PR slimer Matthew Hooton in a bid for Tamihere to become Bank's deputy overlord of the new Auckland Supercity.
"We thought about having John run for mayor, but then we realised heaps of people think he's a bit of a dick and probably wouldn't vote for him, so we decided he'd be better off just crawling right up Bank's arsehole instead."
When asked to explain his bizarre behaviour Jackson replied,
"Well, they're both called John, they're also both big loud idiots and they're both raging homophobic bigots so it's a partnership made in heaven. Plus John is desperate for the attention of anyone but the sad bastards who ring him up on his talkback show. I shouldn't really be saying this, but he's borderline suicidal and he's started to get a weird facial tic like Michael Laws."
Rabid Fire then enquired as to what the fuck had happened to Jackson's left wing principles, which caused the former Alliance MP to stick his fingers in his ears and start screaming "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP" as tears rolled down his cheeks.
NZ GUTTER PRESS
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